There’s been a saying or sayings for years about how you become like the person or people you associate with. One of the most common is, ‘birds of a feather flock together.’ Think about it, you never see an eagle flying with a flock of geese.
Your Friends Matter
If you’re like me and in your 40’s, I’m sure your parents said, more than once, “if Jimmy jumped off a bridge, would you?” We all hung around that one person that our parents just didn’t like. They had a gut feeling about them that they were trouble makers. And I hate to admit it now, but they were usually right. I remember hearing that question when I would follow one of those friends into some kind of trouble.
The same is true now. If you hang out with bums, you’re probably going to become a bum. If you hang around go-getters, you’ll probably become a go-getter because it’s hard to be around them if you’re not one, or at least trying to become one. The first step to making your life better is eliminating whatever it is that’s holding you back. And eliminating the toxic and negative people in your life is one of the first steps.
I know you know at least one person that, when they walk into the room, they just drown out all the light. It’s like they bring a black cloud in behind them. They’re the person who, when you see them coming, you walk the other way or do whatever you can to avoid them. You know the kind of people I’m talking about. Maybe it’s you. Maybe life has been kicking your ass and you’ve just become this negative, cynical jerk no one wants to be around anymore.
I hope not.
But the good news is you can change that if you want to. Read the follow list and see if you are guilty of being toxic. We are all a little toxic at times, but the people that match the descriptions below have to be eliminated from your life if it’s going to get better. I know that sounds mean and cruel, but you can’t afford to be around toxic people just like you can’t drink paint thinner. It’ll make you sick and eventually kill you.
Top 10 Signs of a Toxic Person
- Nothing you can say or do is good enough.
- They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection.
- They drag up your past and won’t allow you to be different.
- They act like they are fabulous and never make mistakes.
- They leave you feeling guilty and ashamed of who you are.
- They’re critical, controlling and don’t think about your needs.
- They leave you feeling beaten, wounded, battered, bruised and torn.
- They violate your boundaries and they never respect “no.”
- They don’t care about your feelings and they like to see you suffer.
- It’s always about them, and what they think, and want, and feel.
Who did you think of? Is there more than one person in your life that fits these descriptions? If it’s your spouse you need to sit down with her and say, ‘hey, this isn’t working for me anymore and we need to get it fixed or it’s over.’ I don’t advocate divorce, but a man can only take so much. No one can tolerate a nagging wife for long. And if it’s a ‘friend,’ you need to eliminate them as much as you can from your life. Maybe only interact with them at the water cooler.
It’s just like exercise. You can workout two hours a day, but if you eat donuts for every meal you’re just not going to reap the benefits of the workouts.